What my friend Holly says

My friend Holly is so eloquent and honest. I really appreciate her and Jenn Tolbert for introducing me to the Baby Whisperer method. It has helped Sadie become an AMAZING sleeper and, in turn, helped us get sleep. I, like Holly, was terrified that I was never going to sleep again after the baby was born, but this method really works and I did not feel sleep deprived for very long at all!

Here is what Holly blogged about and I really agree with a lot that she says:

One of the things I feared about having a baby was sleep deprivation. That is, until I learned your life doesn't have to consist of no sleep just because you have a baby.

I learned from a few people that you put your baby on a schedule from the get-go and it's pretty much smooth sailing. And it's true. I'm serious. There's a little more to it but that's just basically making sure you lay your baby down while she's awake so when she falls asleep & wakes up again, she knows where she is.

We have friends who just had a baby. We talked briefly about this style of parenting and what a blessing it is before the baby came. They are not getting any sleep. The Mom is counting up a few hours here or there. She's adding them up to figure out how many hours of sleep she's getting. I can't remember how the Dad is adding up hours.

I do NOT and will NOT understand how people think feeding a baby on demand is a good idea. Who's the adult? Science shows that a baby is perfectly capable of not eating every 3 hours, or more even. Just because a baby cries, she is not saying she is hungry. You don't pop a boob in or a bottle every time they cry. Of course they'll take what's offered. Wouldn't you? And you even know better, a baby doesn't. Feeding them every time they cry means when your baby is crying for some other reason, you end up blocking that communication and confusing the baby. You end up not listening to your baby. They have different cries for different needs. But if you feed for every cry, you have no idea what your baby is actually telling you.

Being on a schedule is amazing for both parents & baby. I learned from Baby Wise & The Baby Whisperer to feed the baby a full meal, both breasts. You have to keep the baby awake & sometimes that is very hard but you do it anyway because YOU KNOW BEST. After the baby eats, you keep the baby awake for at least 30 minutes. This is also a time of burping. After 30 min. they are pretty much ready for a nap. So you lay them in their own bed (AWAKE). If the baby is fussy, you don't pick the baby up. You reassure her with your voice first. If that doesn't do it, you pat them. Picking the baby up is the last resort. Not because you are mean but because you are teaching them how to sleep on their own which is one of the best gifts you can give your baby.

When your baby learns to sleep on their own they are a more confident baby and less fussy. They know where they are at. They know you are near but they do not need you at all times.

The Baby Whisper's mantra is, "Start by the way you mean to go." (She's British). It's nice and sweet to hold a newborn ALL THE TIME. But what you have to realize is that you are inadvertently training your baby to need that. When you rock your baby to sleep every night, you are training him to need it. When you let your child sleep in a swing more than a few times, you are training her to need it. And guess what? You have to untrain them in order for them to sleep on their own. Guess what? Untraining is more difficult that starting by the way you mean to go! Walking your baby to sleep is not too difficult when they are 10 pounds but even at 20 pounds it's kind of hard. Then when the behavior continues until they are 30 pounds. Geez!

You see, I just don't get it when smart people don't get this concept. So much of how new parents are parenting is just winging it and not getting any sleep, it totally doesn't have to be this way. And eventually parents feel it's just the way their baby is wired. And they let the baby's behavior determine everything.

I also don't understand why people are resistant to the schedule thing. It's not a strict schedule and why would they think it's bad for parent or child? Or do they just not consider it cuz they'll just figure it out their way. As if winging it works? I think so many people are crazy.

And you can't say anything to them when they are talking about how they are not getting any sleep, esp. since they know you did it differently and got sleep. But I think there's a pride issue which spurs on more rebellion to some how make their way work. But it doesn't.

I could go on and on. I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings. And I don't mean to seem prideful. We are just so majorly thankful to have read some great books, saw some great examples, and were on the same page. I was tired for the first few weeks but I was also recovering from labor AND c-section. Every Mom needs that time to sleep and recover.

Having Ivy has been a big change for us but it has not been stressful. Do you know why? Because she has always known what to expect and has learned since she was born how to sleep on her own. I'm not saying every where and every night is perfect. When we go to Derek's Mom's she does not sleep. She sleeps everywhere else as long as she has her own crib or portable crib. And I am sooooooooooo thankful.